Flakes and Aches

So, Mr. Marine is on my ignore list.

I was this --> <-- close to changing my flight to go see him when he announced that oh-btw he will be out of town the only days I could be in town. I don't know what his deal is, or what he gets out of this now-we're-friends, now-we're-not game he plays. But I'm done. I wash my hands of his asshattery.

About the time I wrote my last post, I was talking with Mr. S about the situation. He advised me not to go out there due to previous asshattery. But then he comes out with this gem: "I'm advising against it because I think it's a bad idea. Don't think that I'm jealous or anything, you can shag whoever you want. I don't care about that."

Ouch.

I certainly wasn't expecting this married man to be suddenly overcome with fits of possessiveness, but in my book light jealousy is an expression of caring. For him to say what he said was disappointing on so many levels. Even in the most casual relationship, I think it's inevitable that you care who your partner is with . . . ultimately it's like you'll be with them too. For him to say it didn't matter to him . . . it's like I am less than casual to him. Ow.

And all the more Ow because what we have isn't exactly casual. I think he treats it more lightly than it is for my "benefit" but I know for sure that Mrs. S is viewing our thing as true polyamory and not just hooking up. So what's with the not caring?

The healthiest thing for me would be to find my own local relationship. But I haven't the foggiest idea how to go about making that happen. I wouldn't even know where to find eligible men in my area, let alone how to attract one of them. *sigh*