Sucking Cock

Today over lunch I gave Mr. Smoochy a blowjob. Just because it pleased me to do so.

It is a funny thing, having a penis in your mouth. Velvety soft, sometimes like jello, sometimes like a rock, masculine muskiness, the fur border. Filling, thrusting, squirting.

I have learned to enjoy cock in my mouth, but this was not always so. Early in my sexual miseducation I acquired a distaste for blowjobs, and a change of opinion was long in the coming.*

Always overthinking things as I am wont to do, I sometimes get myself quite hung up on the sexual politics and power dynamics of cock sucking. Down on my knees, in front of a man, I sometimes feel a moment of panic. What am I doing here? There is no dignity in this. Even though I do it willingly, gladly even, I still struggle with the submission of the act. The only time I can truly claim the power of it for myself is when a man is bound before me. Then it is *my* deed.

Sucking cock is an art, and really there ought to be classes that teach it. I remember as early as 7th grade the sex ed teachers having us girls practice how to put condoms on cucumbers and bananas (with, of course, the inevitable hilarity). Why is there not included with that even the most basic blowjob primer? (Let me apologize here to Number One and the other unfortunate gentlemen who underwent my ministrations before I was in possession of a clue). Why do girls have to learn technique from porn or from guys whose only experience is porn?

I wish, I wish, I wish that mainstream porn was not saturated with the notion of females as cum receptacles. Especially the mouth. I think that to take a man into your mouth and lick him, suck him, caress him with your tongue, this is a fundamentally loving thing to do. Even in the most base and primal of encounters. Even when the man is a stranger. This essential nurturing is what makes blowjobs so fundamentally feminine, and that is fine. But it makes me very sad to see that goodness perverted into something degrading.

I enjoy, for a variety of reasons, sucking off Mr. Smoochy more than any other man I've been with. He responds in gratifying ways to my touch. He tastes good. He is perfectly sized for me -- not so long that I gag, not so thick that my jaw muscles cramp. Fills my mouth, fills my pussy.

Tomorrow, I might just suck his cock again.

* All puns intended, of course.