The Writing On The Wall . . . Is {blank}

I had a long IM conversation tonight with Mr. S. I am both gratified and displeased at this.

As our bellydance classes have started again, Mrs. S took it upon herself to invite the two of them over to dinner at my house this past week. Yes, I had a choice to allow it to happen. Not allowing it, though, would have sent a too-clear signal to her about my true feelings. She is dense, but not too dense to miss that.

So they came, we cooked, we ate, it was a mostly pleasant evening. They were both all over me physically, which I didn't exactly appreciate: Mrs. S because of how I feel about her, and Mr. S because he and I have not had a real conversation since the Doorstep Incident.

So tonight Mr. S logs on because that's what he does when Mrs. S is not around to tell him what to do. It turns out the reason for his freedom is her off catting around. (It was my understanding that one of their Never-Broken Rules was "never leave one partner home alone" ... but I guess that only applies to Mr. S and myself *grumble*). I am pleased to have had one of our old style conversations: long and meandering, easy and without drama. He is simply comfortable to talk to, and I have missed that.

I am less pleased about it in other ways. 1) We still haven't talked about the fact he ditched me for over a month. As I am tired of fielding accusations from this pair of being high-maintenance and demanding, I am reluctant to bring it up. It hurt. It still hurts. I am not done processing it, so we shall see. 2) A good chunk of the conversation was spent plotting how to get him into some other girl's pants. What am I? Chopped liver? He did eventually flirt a bit with me, but only right before realizing the late hour and logging off.

Point number two is a leitmotif in my interactions with men, one that dismays me and I don't know how to escape. Meet Guy, like Guy, (sometimes fuck Guy), Guy starts to like Other Girl, be so cool and non-possessive as to give advice how to get Other Girl, Guy and Other Girl live happily ever after.

It would seem things start to break down at the non-possessive part, but possessiveness -- despite being my natural inclination -- does not work for me in practice. It doesn't seem to work for many women, I think. It only seems to work for the women I am competing against. *sigh*