Rag Doll

Jealousy. Is it possible to be jealous of an idea?

I am a man-sized woman. As tall as a man, as strong as a man, as hungry as a man, as heavy as a man. An Amazon for the romantic, Shrek's cousin to the rest. And yet I want to be treated "like a woman". Whatever that means. I am jealous of this woman. I am jealous that her belly can be covered by a man's hand.

When a man is larger than a woman, he is both potential threat and potential protector. I am so very tired of "average" sized men: men who are no more than overgrown women, men whom I can push around, men who cannot push me. Men who make me feel more like a body than a woman. Men who make me feel nothing at all.

I want a man strong enough to enforce his will. A man who can pick me up, hold me down, toss me around like a rag doll. A man whose strength confines me, and in that confinement protects me.